Bronze Statue
A guy is visiting San Francisco, and walks into a small store in Chinatown.
He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.
He asks the owner "how much", and the owner replies "$50 for the bronze rat, and $1000 for the story behind it."
The guy says, "forget the story", and buys the rat.
As he's walking down the street he notices two live rats following him. As he continues to walk, more rats start following him.
He starts to get a little concerned, and heads for the waterfront. By the time he gets there there are thousands and thousands of rats following him.
He walks up to the end of the pier and throws the bronze rat into the bay, and the rats all follow and leap off of the pier and drown.
The guy rushes back to the store and walks in. The owner says, "Ah!, so your back for the story".
The guys says, "No, I was wondering if you have any bronze liberals?"
He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.
He asks the owner "how much", and the owner replies "$50 for the bronze rat, and $1000 for the story behind it."
The guy says, "forget the story", and buys the rat.
As he's walking down the street he notices two live rats following him. As he continues to walk, more rats start following him.
He starts to get a little concerned, and heads for the waterfront. By the time he gets there there are thousands and thousands of rats following him.
He walks up to the end of the pier and throws the bronze rat into the bay, and the rats all follow and leap off of the pier and drown.
The guy rushes back to the store and walks in. The owner says, "Ah!, so your back for the story".
The guys says, "No, I was wondering if you have any bronze liberals?"
Shipwreck
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,
but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, a perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
He said, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together,
but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, a perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the man started to get "those feelings" again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
He said, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?"
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